More Finals Lessons: Man + Shower = WooWoo

I got this e-mail earlier today. Be warned, prolonged mention of bodily functions and use of the word "wiener."

Man vs. Woman: The shower

Part 1: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way,
Cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror
* make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts,
etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
cloth,
long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage
shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint
conditioner.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub
for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut
and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown
and towel on head. If you see husband along the way,

cover up any exposed areas.

Part 2: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of
the bed And leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along
the way,
Shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and
let the water rinse the snot off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and
surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs
stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because
Curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat
on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener
at her And make the woo-woo sound again.

Throw wet towel on her pillow.

If there is anyone among you who did not
laugh at the truth behind this, There is something
SO very wrong with you. Have a great day!
Oh, and.... woo woo!!!